I recently saw that a scientific method was used to determine the most beautiful and desirable woman in the world. The celebrity was named, and without argument, she is attractive. The article went on to offer the formula to determine how you, too, can test your scientific “beauty” quotient. I did not read the article in it’s entirety, although by the photos it appeared to include some facial measurements and equations.
I find a lot of article geared towards women that tell us how much our work as mothers or wives is worth in monetary value by breaking down the cost of each duty. This is how we are validated, by the dollar signs next to our job descriptions.
The number of followers on Instagram is certainly a scale of how much our friends, family and strangers value us by giving attention to every aspect of our lives being photographed. One hundred followers must surely mean that no one except your aunts, uncles and grandparents care about what you do. The thought must be, “The very definition of pathetic”!
People take photos of other people in the gym or during what should be private moments, while they are unsuspecting that someone would give time to our ignorance and vulnerability, and post those photos on social media.
We now have words dedicated to the actions that undermine our very existence (such as fill-in-the-blank shaming).
If we aren’t admired for our beauty, social status, or wealth, there are a few ways to redeem ourselves – we may be valued and accepted for our contributions to the “correct” political or religious organizations, but only IF we carefully follow the guidelines of what the proper thought should be, as determined by our colleagues, and really only assign said value to the organization and not yourself.
There are those who devote their lives, usually in some form of media or entertainment outlet, to telling us what the measure of beauty, success, admiration or validation should be or is. My question is, when did we, the world, decide that we would listen and believe them?
val-i-deyt: 1. To demonstrate the value of an object. 2. To give official sanction, confirmation, or approval to, as elected officials, election procedures, documents, etc.
As if life was not challenging to navigate already, now we called upon to “demonstrate the value” of our lives. Who decided THAT?!?! I’m not going to participate – call me a conscientious objector, but I do not want to attend that party.
I don’t want my daughters to believe that they aren’t beautiful if they don’t fit the scientific formula. I don’t want my sons to believe that the women they are attracted to must fit someone else’ ideal of the perfect wife. I don’t want my daughter to only feel they are validated or valued as women if they are wives and mothers (these are wonderful things, but not validating!). I don’t want my sons to feel like they are not masculine enough because they don’t have shredded abs or bulging biceps.
I have decided that the media, social or otherwise, cannot have my children and they cannot have me. My life does not need to be validated like parking receipt at a shopping mall. We are beautiful because of who we are, because of what we bring to the world, because we laugh, we play, we live messy lives. We are beautiful because we have scars, inside and out. We are beautiful and we are worthy! So, to anyone who says we are not beautiful, successful, admirable, or worthy of being called such, you are not only wrong, you are a liar!
My weight or jeans size doesn’t dictate how much I have to offer the world! My sex, nor my religion, nor my political views do not define me. I am not more of a woman because I am a mother, nor less of one because I am not a wife. I am a woman simply because I am. I am EVERY woman on this earth who has every been told she was not “woman enough”. I embody all that is feminine because I am me, a perfect Divine design. I am one of the most beautiful women in the world – granted there are about 3.5 billion others, but I am one of them, and we are all beautiful! I am beautiful simply because I am.
My sons will not be taught that they are validated by their sexual prowess or the career they have chosen. My children will not be taught to associate their self esteem because their identity is tied to the Instagram numbers that qualify them as popular. My daughters will not be taught that they are more “sexy” because of their large breasts, thigh gap, razor sharp hip bones, or lack thereof.
Why does our self worth get tied to the latest trend? Why can we not just believe we are very valuable as human beings no matter what someone else would tell us? Why do we have such trouble believing that beauty is more than just pretty faces? I don’t have all of the answers.
We don’t need the media to tell us that what we believe is wrong and they know what is right for us. Maybe we have to find that we are entitled to be beautiful and deserve to live beautiful lives. We must trust that, in our hearts, we do not lie – we are trustworthy enough to tell ourselves that we are beautiful… and we can believe it. We are more than capable of supporting and encouraging one another to find the courage to live a life of beauty, even if others would not appreciate it as such.
Might it be that the old adage, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” isn’t exactly accurate – maybe it could be more completely stated that, “beauty is in the heart of the believer”, because the first step to finding the beauty in life is having faith that it’s there and start looking within, rather than outside of ourselves…