Worthiness – Is it worth the cost?

“Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” Malcolm S. Forbes

Worthy. It’s a word we don’t use often in common everyday conversations. Is it because we don’t have a reason, or because it’s not something we feel. Almost a taboo to discuss. We might think it a little rude to ask someone, “What’s it worth to you?” or “How much is it worth?”. People typically only talk about worth in terms relative to things, not ourselves.

Isn’t that often the case, though? Generally, we can only feel comfortable discussing things or actions, but we have a hard time talking about the things that make us intrinsically human. Talking about our spirit is a bit trickier. Discuss the condition of our mind? No, just no. A bigger challenge is to talk about our own worth! No one ever says, “So, whatdya think you’re worth?”, do they? Of course, we would never respond with dollar amounts, or specifics, or even abstracts. Is there a right answer? A wrong answer?

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” Mark Twain

Today, I am asking myself that very question. What am I worth? Can it be enough to just say I am worthy? If I say it over and over, but can’t believe it, it’s a powerless statement. Being empowered is a big deal to me, so if I can’t put the power behind it, I need to delve deeper.
I set out to put words to my “worth”. Maybe it will resonate with some of you.

Defining it

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines worth as:
1. a. Monetary value.
b. The equivalent of a specified amount or figure.
2. The value of something measured by its qualities or by the esteem in which it held
3. a. Moral or personal value
b. Merit, excellence

So, if worth is the value placed on one’s self, as in definition 1, how can we determine it? Does a dollar amount suffice?

A quick search on the internet reveals that the human body is worth about $120,000USD on the black market. Body parts on the “red market”, or the place where one can legally sell their living parts could be worth much more over the lifespan, up to several million dollars, if selling blood, a kidney, bone marrow, even hair, ovum, semen, and so on.

Everyone knows our worth is not determined by the value placed on our body parts…don’t they?
A super model can make upwards of $30,000,000USD from print ads to catwalks to other related interests. A not-so-super model can make a few thousand per year, barely enough to independently support her/himself. A professional, award winning athlete can make $100,000,000 or more between sports and endorsement contracts. A non-award winner will be lucky to have mention in the weekly small town newspaper sports section in a score roundup.

Maybe definitions 2 and 3 are more applicable. Then, if I am measured by my qualities, what are they? Have I determined what qualities will make me valuable?

How amazing it is to me that I have gone much of my life determining what qualities in clothing, shoes, cars, homes, music and jobs make them worth my money or time, but I have not put much effort into determining what makes me valuable, or of worth.

Maybe we consider what we’re looking for in a spouse or partner – some of us may have even made a list of what we find attractive or want in a mate. What qualities make your friends valuable? That’s not so hard to answer. Perhaps my friend is funny, smart, has common interests, or is non-judgmental. All of those are great qualities.

The truth is, we don’t consider the qualities that make us worthy of our time, because we are afraid. What if I don’t measure up to my own standards? What if I am a failure and everyone but me knows it? All of the “what if’s” are killing us! We have driven ourselves into the ground, over-burdened ourselves with “what if” and used that as our excuse to not take a real look at what being worthy really means!

The Truth

“Just because people throw it out and don’t have any use for it, doesn’t mean it’s garbage.” Andy Warhol

So, then is it really about the body? No, and it’s not about the qualities, either. It’s all a big lie. We’ve been duped.

Our worth isn’t determined by our body image. It isn’t even determined by our ability to throw a ball, how fast we run, our smile, our niceness, our charm.

Maybe you didn’t know it, but by being born, having a spirit and mind, you are priceless. How this could logically be proven wrong? Thoughts cannot be seen by another, feelings cannot be felt by anyone else in the same manner. Fingerprints are unique, and so is the mind. Hair has its own unique growth pattern, and so do hearts.

A Masterpiece

The fact is, you were born priceless. There are some caveats, though. A masterpiece can be priceless because of its beauty and uniqueness, but if left in the rain, it will deteriorate and lose its priceless condition. In like, if no one can ever see the masterpiece, it cannot be priceless, for it is unknown and its beauty becomes irrelevant and unappreciated.

You and I are a masterpieces. If we leave ourselves open to bad conditions, we can deteriorate and become in need of serious repair. A priceless portrait with chipped paint must be attended to. If no one ever experiences our beauty and uniqueness, it is as if we don’t exist, and our priceless status becomes null. Where is the value in an undiscovered masterpiece? Who can appreciate the unseen and unknown?

My point is, we must live our lives as if we are masterpieces – the most beautiful piece of art imaginable – on display at the most important gallery in the existence! We must live as though we know that we are priceless and stop considering our worth and value. Let us attend to protecting and enhancing the things which have made us priceless.

We must ensure that we live a life that reflects that priceless distinction. Make sure that your paint – the color of your character and personality – isn’t chipped and in need of repair. If it is, repair it! Contribute to the world – the gallery – and protect the condition of the place where you are displayed. A masterpiece doesn’t detract from its surrounding, it enhances them. At the same time, why not display your masterpiece in a place that is in good condition, that highlights the contribution of beauty you bring to the world.

“The diamond does not need to prove its worth. It is, in fact, the person who must teach him/herself to recognize the worth of real diamonds. A person must study this in school. A diamond does not go to school to learn how to prove its worth. It is a person who must recognize the worth of a diamond. Dear diamonds everywhere, stop trying to go to school. The worthy will recognize your worth.” C. JoyBell C.

Other people may judge your “worthiness”, but the truth is that they don’t appreciate your beauty. Just go and be. Maintain your condition, do the upkeep. Contribute to your surroundings. Make your life a masterpiece and those who recognize your beauty will know that you are priceless – keep them around! They are contributing to the gallery of our world, too. Let those who can’t see that your true value go their own way. They are likely in need of some repair. That’s okay. Just don’t let their disrepair chip away at your paint!
Make your life a masterpiece! You were born for it!

The Things We Do…

Often times people are curious as to what we do for education, therapy, hobbies, and such.
You may expect the answer to be quick and direct…but it’s not! I can give some ideas about some of the things that we do and how they apply to specific needs of my individual children, as well as creative ideas that we implement in The Bohemian Habitat. These things work for us, and that’s what we strive for – creativity through child led activities. These not only educate, but nurture and help bring healing and balance to my children.

“If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I, an artist, will answer you: I am here to live out loud.” – Èmile Zola

The Tempest Cosmo, Fig and Bear in action.

The Tempest
Cosmo, Fig and Bear in action.


One of the favorite things to do is theatre. Not everyone one of the kids is as interested in really living and breathing theatre arts, but they all love to get involved for impromptu Shakespeare readings, or spontaneous playwriting/playacting. This is a great way to learn cooperation, language skills and hone in memory skills. Memorizing is often a challenge for people with traumatic pasts, because many memories aren’t always associated with positive things. People are often surprised to learn that old English verbage is very complementary to helping with stuttering and other language challenges, probably because of the exactness and necessity for proper pronunciation.

“Painting is poetry that is seen rather than felt, and poetry is painting that is felt rather than seen.” – Leonardo Da Vinci

Artists in their habitat... Seamus and The Fox

Artists in their habitat…
Seamus and The Fox


Poetry is hands down the best practice to heal language challenges! We have been very fortunate to be near an amazing library in Trikala, Greece right now and the kids go about every other day. They have a small English section with some great classics and poetry selections and those have been great fun for poetry readings and memory challenges. They get very theatrical about these readings, and while not high energy, they are a bit more than just monotonous ramblings!

“Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.” – Pablo Picasso

Art is a great healer and educator. Several of my kids are artistically inclined, but with or without natural talent, everyone loves to sketch, draw, paint, sculpt and get there hands dirty. All types of art foster creativity, coordination, attention to detail, problem solving and even physical activity for my little one who hates most forms of exercise, but loves to express himself through dance moves he makes up. Daily walks often culminate in a little sketching party (when sketch books are remembered!) and it can draw a curious crowd! But that’s a good thing, as my less social children have been able to become more at ease when attention is directed their way in these spontaneous moments…

Healing and education in art.  The Bear has demonstrated knowledge in art, music, and history with THIS!

Healing and education in art. The Bear has demonstrated knowledge in art, music, and history with THIS!

Please keep the comments and questions coming our way!

A little thought..

When you call that person “crazy” for their choice in a leader, religion, or lifestyle, just remember that, even if their choices are wrong for your life, there are forces at work in their lives that led to these decisions. If all was wonderful in the world, there wouldn’t be the struggle to be heard, the need to make difficult or unpopular decisions, desperation, fear or any other powerful motivating influence.
Today’s casual use of “crazy” doesn’t only imply mental illness, but stupidity. Neither applies to most people, in the spirit it is used. When you call someone a profane name or hurl a ripping insult, you don’t show them how wrong they are – you confirm that the the situations they are facing are not the only things against them and they become even more entrenched in fear based or desperate thinking.
We are not smarter when we demean or belittle another. We are not more powerful because we follow a certain ideology. This is not progress or higher thinking, it is bullying. Aren’t we a country, a world, trying to unite to stop that within our schools and amongst our children? Then be an example, be kind.
Just because someone doesn’t agree with you, you don’t have to react. We can have opinions, share opinions, discuss opinions without being hateful, cruel or antagonizing. Seriously.

Finding beauty

I recently saw that a scientific method was used to determine the most beautiful and desirable woman in the world. The celebrity was named, and without argument, she is attractive. The article went on to offer the formula to determine how you, too, can test your scientific “beauty” quotient. I did not read the article in it’s entirety, although by the photos it appeared to include some facial measurements and equations.

.facebook_1470229984933

I find a lot of article geared towards women that tell us how much our work as mothers or wives is worth in monetary value by breaking down the cost of each duty. This is how we are validated, by the dollar signs next to our job descriptions.

The number of followers on Instagram is certainly a scale of how much our friends, family and strangers value us by giving attention to every aspect of our lives being photographed. One hundred followers must surely mean that no one except your aunts, uncles and grandparents care about what you do. The thought must be, “The very definition of pathetic”!

People take photos of other people in the gym or during what should be private moments, while they are unsuspecting that someone would give time to our ignorance and vulnerability, and post those photos on social media.
We now have words dedicated to the actions that undermine our very existence (such as fill-in-the-blank shaming).

If we aren’t admired for our beauty, social status, or wealth, there are a few ways to redeem ourselves – we may be valued and accepted for our contributions to the “correct” political or religious organizations, but only IF we carefully follow the guidelines of what the proper thought should be, as determined by our colleagues, and really only assign said value to the organization and not yourself.

Not buying it...

Not buying it…

There are those who devote their lives, usually in some form of media or entertainment outlet, to telling us what the measure of beauty, success, admiration or validation should be or is. My question is, when did we, the world, decide that we would listen and believe them?

VALIDATE
val-i-deyt: 1. To demonstrate the value of an object. 2. To give official sanction, confirmation, or approval to, as elected officials, election procedures, documents, etc.

As if life was not challenging to navigate already, now we called upon to “demonstrate the value” of our lives. Who decided THAT?!?! I’m not going to participate – call me a conscientious objector, but I do not want to attend that party.

I don’t want my daughters to believe that they aren’t beautiful if they don’t fit the scientific formula. I don’t want my sons to believe that the women they are attracted to must fit someone else’ ideal of the perfect wife. I don’t want my daughter to only feel they are validated or valued as women if they are wives and mothers (these are wonderful things, but not validating!). I don’t want my sons to feel like they are not masculine enough because they don’t have shredded abs or bulging biceps.

The Bear...He is enough, in every way.

The Bear…He is enough, in every way.

I have decided that the media, social or otherwise, cannot have my children and they cannot have me. My life does not need to be validated like parking receipt at a shopping mall. We are beautiful because of who we are, because of what we bring to the world, because we laugh, we play, we live messy lives. We are beautiful because we have scars, inside and out. We are beautiful and we are worthy! So, to anyone who says we are not beautiful, successful, admirable, or worthy of being called such, you are not only wrong, you are a liar!

My weight or jeans size doesn’t dictate how much I have to offer the world! My sex, nor my religion, nor my political views do not define me. I am not more of a woman because I am a mother, nor less of one because I am not a wife. I am a woman simply because I am. I am EVERY woman on this earth who has every been told she was not “woman enough”. I embody all that is feminine because I am me, a perfect Divine design. I am one of the most beautiful women in the world – granted there are about 3.5 billion others, but I am one of them, and we are all beautiful! I am beautiful simply because I am.

My sons will not be taught that they are validated by their sexual prowess or the career they have chosen. My children will not be taught to associate their self esteem because their identity is tied to the Instagram numbers that qualify them as popular. My daughters will not be taught that they are more “sexy” because of their large breasts, thigh gap, razor sharp hip bones, or lack thereof.

The Caveman Clan

The Caveman Clan

Why does our self worth get tied to the latest trend? Why can we not just believe we are very valuable as human beings no matter what someone else would tell us? Why do we have such trouble believing that beauty is more than just pretty faces? I don’t have all of the answers.

We don’t need the media to tell us that what we believe is wrong and they know what is right for us. Maybe we have to find that we are entitled to be beautiful and deserve to live beautiful lives. We must trust that, in our hearts, we do not lie – we are trustworthy enough to tell ourselves that we are beautiful… and we can believe it. We are more than capable of supporting and encouraging one another to find the courage to live a life of beauty, even if others would not appreciate it as such.

Might it be that the old adage, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” isn’t exactly accurate – maybe it could be more completely stated that, “beauty is in the heart of the believer”, because the first step to finding the beauty in life is having faith that it’s there and start looking within, rather than outside of ourselves…

Cosmo lending a helping hand...

Cosmo lending a helping hand…